In contrast to today’s post-Christian culture’s egalitarian (complete equality) practices in the role responsibilities between husband and wife, the biblical presentation of responsibilities (what a husband should do and what a wife should do to nourish the covenant dynamic) is diametrically different.  Altruistically superior, the Scriptures’ portrayal lights a fire of devotion, protection, nurture, and passion that each partner can feel as these roles are practiced, cultivated, and guarded before each other.

The role-responsibilities dynamic means seeing and pursuing the creation design that God established for relationships.  In Genesis 1-3, the husband was created to be the spiritual leader-guardian of God’s mission for his marriage.  Created to come alongside him, the wife was to be the spiritual enabler-organizer that encouraged her husband to lead spiritually the marriage in ways that reflect God’s glory and wonder in human life.

All of this “sounds good” when pursued with love, commitment, and devotion, but what happens when this doesn’t happen?  What consequences come when a husband and wife—separately or together—refuse to follow God’s blueprint for role responsibilities?  Unfortunately, Genesis 3 reveals the devastating consequences.  Adam and Eve—individually and collectively—failed horrifically in their role responsibilities, and all of us has suffered immensely with them.

Today, let’s examine Adam’s (the husband’s) roles and how he violated them.  In Genesis 2 and 3, what do we learn about his relationship responsibilities?

• God gave Adam a mission-work (2:15).  He was commanded “to work and to tend” the garden before sin came.  Work is not a curse.  It has great redeeming value if done for God’s honor and glory.  A man was made to work, not to live a life of self-aggrandizing pleasure.
• He was given specific instructions—laws and freedoms—from God for the mission (2:16).  It is intriguing how verse 16 says, “and God commanded the man, “You are free…”  Normally, the words “commanded” and “free” don’t bedpartner with each another, but in God’s creation-design, they go hand-in-glove. Tremendous freedom came from following God’s laws and commands.
• He realized after naming the animals and before his “surgery” that no suitable helper was present (2:20). In Hebrew, the idea of “help-meet” obviously means helper, but also it means a “counterpart” or someone different who would complement, sharpen, counterbalance, even enrich the abilities and qualities of the mate.  In Adam, there was obvious need—something was lacking to help him complete God’s mission—and Eve was created to fill that void perfectly.
• He realized God’s provision to help him fulfill the mission.  Genesis 2:23 reveals deep sentiment within him: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…”  It is virtually impossible to describe the emotional ecstasy here.  He saw the physical embodiment of God’s promises standing in front of him.
• In perfect obedience before God, Adam and Eve experienced no shame (2:25).  With nothing to hide (no pun intended!), both enjoyed marriage with no “skeletons in the closet.” 
• He communicated to her God’s instructions (3:2-3).  The fact that Eve answered the serpent’s question showed that Adam told her God’s commands at some point in their relationship.  What is uncertain is whether he misinformed or she misunderstood God’s original command.  Regardless, he was responsible to let her know what God told him, and to guard those commands with full compliance.
• He wasn’t absent when the serpent spoke to Eve.  He was present all the time, yet did nothing to protect her from danger (3:4-5).  The moment the serpent appeared, he should have stepped in front of Eve, and said, “Mister, if you’re going to ask about God’s commands, you’ll need to talk to me.  God gave me these commands (2:16-17) before she was created.”  By failing to protect, Adam did not shield Eve from one of her most vulnerable moments.
• He saw his wife’s deliberations leading up to her disobedience and did nothing to intervene.  The imagery imbedded in 3:6 (“when the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom”) suggests that Eve’s actions were not an instantaneous, rash response.  She pondered her response and its benefits-effects.  Obviously, her reflections would have given Adam sufficient time to step up and to rescue her.  But Adam showed complacency and irresponsibility.  Here, the text states, Adam “was with her.”  She sinned by eating.  He sinned by disregarding his roles and responsibilities as a spiritual leader, guardian, and protector. 
• He joined his wife to coverup shame.  It is interesting that in 3:7 “both” and “they” are prominently used: “both their eyes were opened’” “they were naked,” and “they made coverings.”  Misery attracts company.
• God called him: “where are you?” (3:9).  As the “first-born,” God summoned Adam to account, not Eve.  Profound implications abound here.  God saw Adam as the spiritual leader of his marriage, not his wife, and He called him for an account.
• Adam neglected his guardian responsibility and spoke solely for himself.  Four times he said “I”: “I heard,” “I was afraid,” “I was naked,” “I hid” (3:10). This admission betrayed his wife, and left her exposed and defenseless.  He answered God’s question, “Who told you that you were naked?” (clearly God’s omniscience knew his plight) with a famous “blame game” coverup: “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit…” (3:12, my emphasis reflecting the tone of the Hebrew).  He failed to take his leadership responsibility seriously, consequently receiving God’s curse (3:17-19).  He and Eve were banished from the garden to live out the effects of the curse for the rest of their lives (3:22-24).

When a husband fails to cultivate, to protect, to guard, and to nourish his marriage, devastating consequences emerge.  It’s time for the husband to be the MAN, the proactive leader in his marriage.  When he does, incredible dynamics catapult the marriage forward.  When he doesn’t, serious repercussions surface.