In the last blog, I drew upon the biblical presentation of Christ’s submission to His heavenly Father as it directly mirrors the role relationship in a Christian marriage between a man and his wife.  By quick review: since Christ came to earth under the Father’s mission to love the church and to die for her redemption, husbands are likewise commanded to parallel and to model that sacrificial mission-love for their wives, and wives are urged to line up (the Greek verb ὑποτάσσω is a military term meaning “to line up”) under God’s mission for the home as their husbands tenderly, spiritually and prayerfully lead.  In effect, as they submit to Christ’s leadership over their home, husbands are to reflect Christ’s example, “Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—I have come to do your will, O God” (Hebrews 10:7).  As the husband obeys and follows Christ, wives are then called to organize themselves and their home towards the fulfillment of God’s mission in their husbands’ spiritual leadership.  This is the heart of biblical submission for the church and for the home in God’s design.

WHAT IT IS NOT: biblical submission has nothing to do with a husband’s rights, power-mongering, lording, oppressing, intimidating, suppressing and “king-brokering.”  It has everything to do with a husband seeing (with his wife’s concurrence) God’s mission for the home as modeled by Christ’s mission for the church, and then demonstrating proactively a life of sacrificial love to his wife so that both are empowered to embrace God’s mission over their home, thereby enabling them to fulfill God’s mission for the home.  For the husband, the command to submit means coming under and following Christ’s sacrificial loving leadership.  For the wife, the command to submit means seeing God’s mission for the home with her husband and helping him (and her) move towards it.

WHY SO DIFFICULT TO GRASP?  The call to biblical submission is supposed to be one of the most beautiful and liberating experiences in the Spirit-filled Christian journey; however, it has been distorted and deconstructed into something self-centric and avaricious.  The point to remember about biblical submission is that it has everything to do with God’s mission for the church and the home, not what the husband’s wishes are for his own greed and self-aggrandizement.  Certainly, the husband’s brokenness often creates occasions where self-centeredness keeps him from grasping God’s mission for his home.  Sometimes the pain over his spiritual fractures and life troubles prevent him from seeing and hearing God’s spiritual direction for his home.  In other instances, his fear in not wanting to know God’s mission prevents him from standing in a place where he can see God’s will for his life, his marriage, and his home.  Whatever obstacles—sin, pride, fear, insecurity, laziness, anger or others—abound, it does not remove his responsibility to understand and to articulate God’s calling for him in the advancement of God’s mission through his own household.  To say it more clearly: “a man’s home is not his castle; rather, it is his stage for advancing and articulating the Kingdom of God through sacrificial, loving, spiritual service to his wife and family.”

Sometimes the wife’s brokenness keeps the mission of God from advancing in the home.  In some instances, God’s will becomes known because the husband has correctly surmised it, but the wife’s spiritual insecurity, fear or insensitivity may prevent her from seeing and understanding its full implications for the family.  There can be times when the immediate family state-of-affairs (current child demands, household necessities, parenting issues, etc.) can impede her spiritual foresightedness over the long-term condition and spiritual progress of the home.   Sin can also disconnect her from supporting her husband’s mission under God when her own spiritual, emotional and sexual chalices are breaking and leaking.  Whatever hindrances—anxiety, insecurity, selfishness, fear, ignorance or others—abound, it does not negate her responsibility to pray, to listen and to align God’s mission under her husband’s call by helping him find ways to further the Kingdom of God through their household.

WHAT IT IS: in sum, the husband’s call is to initiate and to articulate as clearly as possible to his wife (with her input, refinement, and spiritual discernment) what he believes God’s mission is for their marriage and home.  Once there is mutual agreement, the wife is called to organize herself and the home around God’s mission, supporting her husband as he leads lovingly and sacrificially, putting her and the home above himself.

“What is God’s Mission for Your Life and Marriage?” represents one of the most important questions a husband and his wife can answer today.  When they can answer it with heartfelt unity, God will begin to do some amazing things in their marital relationship for His glory.