I can still remember my father’s wisdom growing up: “Son, always remember that God gave you 2 eyes, 2 ears, and 1 mouth. Listen and watch twice as much, and speak half of what you should.” His words remind me then and now that listening—genuine engaged listening—is something practically everyone appreciates, but is especially an important element in connecting and reaching a world that has largely become post-Christian in thought and in action.

What does engaged listening do to a relationship? Consider these quality benefits:
• Engaged listening shows respect and trust. It reveals that you value the other person and think that their views have merit and worth.
• Engaged listening breaks down presumptive walls. So often people carry personal biases with them about others, but genuine listening eliminates many of those presumptions.
• Engaged listening exposes areas of misunderstanding. Oftentimes getting the fuller picture of a person’s perspective through attentive engagement helps you gain a greater appreciation about the path this person has walked and the shoes that they have worn.
• Engaged listening intensifies conversation and interest. When another person realizes that you want to engage them personally in a conversation, they will respond and show openness to your willingness to interact with them.
• Engaged listening helps people think through things more deeply. Sometimes the process of “talking out loud” helps others figure the best path to solve personal problems that they are facing.
• Engaged listening expands and enriches knowledge. By taking the time to hear someone explain their view, the odds are likely good that your own understanding of the issue(s) will broaden when you listen with active interest.
• Engaged listening strengthens relationships. By giving genuine effort to attentive, responsive listening, people will see that you care about the relationship and want to help others in sincere ways. This old saying rings true: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Scripture reminds us of the importance of listening: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Certainly no one was better at this than Jesus. I have no doubt that the reason why the poor, oppressed, and “sinners” (Scripture itself puts this word in quotation marks at times) were drawn to him is because he engaged himself in proactive listening. He heard their hearts and their cries for help and justice. He became thoroughly acquainted with their dilemmas and often stood in the gap to help them. One reason why he became “the friend of sinners” is because of his diligent listening to their life needs. We would do well to follow his example.

In this post-Christian culture, many people do not believe that their voices are heard. Obviously, the issues are too big and the space here is too small to discuss its implications. But one matter is clear: if Christians would take the lead and attempt to listen with genuine concern to some of the needs and issues that post-Christian thinking people possess, I believe we would see a greater openness by them to the hope that the gospel presents in Christ.

Listening will not change the world overnight, but it can promote better understanding today.